Relationships
7 telling signs your relationship could be in trouble, according to a dating expert
Knowing when a relationship is over isn't always obvious.
When you've been with a partner for a long time, it can be difficult acknowledging certain issues exist.
Here, we talk to MBACP accredited psychotherapist, Slyvia Cowell, about some of the most telling signs that your relationship could be in hot water.
When you've been with a partner for a long time, it can be difficult acknowledging certain issues exist (Credit: Alamy)
How do you know when a relationship is over?
From picking holes in the other party to a distinct lack of physical intimacy, here are seven signs that your relationship could be over..
1. If the arguments stop
Sylvia points out that if a couple has been arguing a lot and the arguments just stop, this could be a sign that the relationship is nearing its demise.
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"If they just stop, and not because there's been any resolution, it can signify that the other person is disconnected, and the relationship and the issues within it just don't matter to them anymore," she tells me.
2. The other party is preoccupied
In the same vein, one person in the relationship may notice that their partner is exceedingly preoccupied. "If one individual is concentrating more on themselves, this is a sign of emotional disconnection.
"Depending on what life stage someone is in, they may be preparing for their new life — outside of their current relationship. This might mean feeling like they need to shake things up. All of a sudden, they may decide they need to change their job, or fix up their appearance," Cowell explains.
Being preoccupied can be a sign of emotional disconnection (Credit: Alamy)
3. A lack of physical intimacy
"If somebody was the person who would always ask and initiate intimacy and they suddenly stop, this could be a sign that things are nearing the end," Cowell continues.
This, she says, shows that that individual no longer thinks that sex will make a difference to the state of affairs their union is in. Especially if intimacy started out being important to the couple.
If all intimacy suddenly stops, this could be a sign that things are nearing the end (Credit: Alamy)
4. Hesitancy to make long-term commitments
Another red flag is when one person stops making financial and long-term commitments — or even speaking about the future.
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"If they're hesitant to plan, for example, a holiday in six months, it can signal that they're psychologically disconnected," Cowell says.
But as well as a lack of future planning, the individual may also find it difficult to stay in the present moment. For example, they may seem distant when you're together, and you will notice that they seem "far away" when you're supposed to be having one-on-one time.
5. They start picking holes
Whereas some people may completely stop arguing with their partner, others may actually begin to start picking arguments and holes in the other person to justify their decision to disconnect from them.
They may also use this as an exit strategy, the psychotherapist explains, as they could start hoping that if they prod at their boyfriend or girlfriend enough, they will eventually have enough and call it quits.
People may start picking holes to set up an exit strategy (Credit: Pexels)
6. A lack of communication
"Healthy relationships always have conflict, but those conflicts are open and transparent," Cowell states. "If you're not communicating anymore, and you have no sense of what is potentially going on in the other person's life, then that's a very good sign that something has gone wrong.
"There may also be no communication about the things that have started to change. In a healthy relationship, if a person has decided to stop or start doing something that will be spoken about. They will communicate that to their partner."
7. Old insecurities creep back in
If your old insecurities start to creep back in and you start to get a sense of unease that the person isn't as interested in you as they were before, this could be a bad sign.
The psychotherapist concludes that if or your partner is beginning to become more interested in other people that could also be a sign that the relationship is heading in the wrong direction.
